So then, The Marathon.
Well, straightaway we can use some sneaky statistics to get that down a bit. Let’s round it down to 26 miles…and then why not round that down to a good solid 25. Then we can factor in the hustle and bustle of everyone at the start, which means you don’t really start running for a good mile or so.
Hey presto – our marathon distance is already down to 24 miles – a mere walk in the park. Anyone got any tips for reducing it further? Let’s see if we can get it down to single figures by the end of the week!
I am slightly scared about various aspects of the whole marathon thing:
1) Logistics. I need to get myself to the start on time which shouldn’t be a problem as I’m staying in Croyden the night before so it’s not like I’ll be a million miles away. But my navigational skills are not great and it is totally possible that I’ll hop on a tube and realise about 20 minutes later that I’m heading in the wrong direction. How many of you who know me are sitting there nodding your heads? I might have to take London Geography 101 at some point in the next couple of months!
2) Needing a wee. Okay, I’ve said it out loud now and I know it’s a silly thing to be worrying about but seriously I am not going to be weeing in a gutter. Or, as I have heard (and this may be an urban myth)…pooing in my pants then carrying on running. No, no and thrice no!
3) Hunger. I get grumpy when I’m hungry and running for 5 hours is meant to burn about 10 billion calories (it’s true – check it out on Wikipedia) so I’m not sure that carb gels are going to be enough to stop me wanting to bite the ankles of those in front of me (but then, on the plus side there will be enough ankles if I do get that desperate…). I’ll be doing the carb-loading thing on the day before the marathon, but might take a few Marmite sandwiches with me on my upcoming long runs to check whether I can eat them and run without any adverse effects. I am the proud owner of a runners waist pouch (which at first glance may look like a bumbag but I can assure you it’s a waist pouch. Waist Pouch, not bumbag, right?) but I’m not going to get many sandwiches in that so under the hat might be my best bet, a la Paddington Bear.
4) Tea. 5 hours without a cup of tea??
5) Hmmm, I’m sure there was one more, now what was it. Let me think… Oh yes, the whole actually running an entire marathon thing, that was it! Even if it is really only 24 miles…
Any helpful hints and tips are very welcome either by commenting on this post or emailing me at email@example.com
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